dan and kristy

i can think of a handful of reasons why it has been a while since i have last posted. first of all, i have misplaced (in other words lost) our camera. without pictures to post, i lose my motivation to blog...so until i (hopefully) find the camera i am doing a picture-less post that might divulge more information about our lives than pictures will anyway.

this post isn't meant to be a "woe is me" post. rather, i want to remember what has happened during this period in my life. i hope it will help me contemplate what i can learn from my experiences and recognize the many blessings in my life.

the last 19 months of my life have been like a roller coaster. remember this and this? then there was this...and sometimes it seems like it just keeps coming...in the early summer i was experiencing some unusual and persistent symptoms that led me to see my ob/gyn. i went in for an ultrasound and they found an ovarian cyst which was the likely culprit for my symptoms. so in late september i went in for surgery to have the cyst removed. the surgery went well and i was on my way to recovery until i went in to see the doctor for my post-surgery follow-up. the pathology report came back and the cyst was cancerous.

when i received this news, i have to say that i wasn't really surprised. i'd had a series of medical issues in the past year and half and i seem to just expect the worst. it was dreadful to wait a week and a half until my appointment with the oncologist. the oncologist diagnosed me with borderline ovarian cancer. it is called borderline because it is a form of cancer that doesn't usually take over your organs, but it attaches to the surfaces and grows. because of this the cancer doesn't respond to chemotherapy. after learning i had cancer, i was trying to think positive and i told myself that if i am going to have cancer then this is a good kind to have. but that meant that i had to have more surgery.

my second surgery was just 5 weeks after my first. by this time i was tired of having surgeries and procedures. this was the 7th time i had been put under anesthesia in the last year and a half. but it had to be done to see if the cancer had spread and to stage the cancer. so on november 3 i had surgery to remove my ovary and fallopian tube. i am so blessed that everything went well during the surgery. the doctor removed two more tumors on my other ovary and removed some endometriosis on my abdominal wall. but they found no other traces of cancer. since this type of cancer is only treated surgically i have to go in for a check-up every six months for the rest of my life.

i feel so blessed to not have anymore complications with this diagnosis. despite the fear and anxiety i think i got off pretty easy. i am still dealing with changes in my life from my heart condition and now i have a cancer diagnosis to consider. i am trying to understand why all this has happened and what i am suppose to do with it. i know this is all part of Heavenly Father's plan. i have seen his hand in our lives and know that we were at a certain place and time to be dealing with this. i have also felt the endless love and support from my family and friends and am so thankful for that.

i came across a quote that says "we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" -Joseph Campbell. this past year has taught me alot and i am only beginning to understand the life that is waiting for me. i am working on accepting that Heavenly Father has a plan for me that is different than what i have planned. and i want to let go of my plan so i don't miss out on what is waiting for me.